Why Vote "Yes" For "NO!"?

Confucius once said, "If a man puts sugar in your gas tank, don't pay him to fix your car."

One could marvel that the ancient philosopher so accurately envisioned the advent of internal-combustion engines -- I'm far more amazed at how clearly he foresaw the 2010 mid-term U.S. elections

Following a 2008 drubbing of the Republican party at the hands of a "Yes We Can" nation, the GOP oddly embraced its out-of-touch niche and reinvented itself as the PON ("Party of No"). For the past 14 months it has played the role not of a minority party, but a bold-faced saboteur holding its breath, dragging its feet and overtly attempting to halt the process of governing. Now the conservatives seek to take control of the body they have crippled, running on a hollow platform that features no vision for the nation, but merely touts the supposed failure of President Obama's agenda -- "failure" they have worked hard to ensure.

As is so often the case with Republican strategy (perhaps "tactics" is the better word, connoting simple behavior more than reasoned forethought), it is difficult to determine whether stupidity or chutzpah is the driving force. To base an entire campaign upon your opponent's limited accomplishments after you have accomplished nothing beyond expending all energy trying to prevent his success is...mind-numbing? Dizzying? Foolish? Madness? Genius?

It's rather like kidnapping someone's children, and then applying to be their nanny ("well, I didn't KILL them! ").

The absurdity is perhaps most clearly demonstrated in the erratic (even by his standards) behavior of Senator John McCain. In recent weeks, the Moldy Maverick has vowed that he will NOT cooperate in governing the country while simultaneously summoning the shapely spirit of Sarah Palin to ensure that he is re-elected to the switch at which he proudly sleeps."Send me back to Washington -- where I promise I won't do a thing!"

In the 19th century, American politics saw the brief rise-and-fall of the "Know-Nothing Party" (there is no truth to the rumor that McCain was a charter member) -- 160 years later we have the "Do Nothing" movement that actively campaigns on its inactivity. Could the tactic succeed?

It is nearly impossible to underestimate the naiveté or ignorance of the American electorate, but it must see through this laughable ploy, right? Right?! When death panels and "birther" conspiracies find far more traction than actual policy, I have my doubts. Did we ever think we'd see a leader so vilified for trying to provide health-care, so Nazi-fied for taking on insurance companies, so derided for reading off a teleprompter instead of his hand? Conventional wisdom, historical trends, and Fox News all tell us that the Democrats will indeed lose ground.

The Right argues that that the legislative logjam it has engineered is justification for providing it with even greater blocking power, but the more natural conclusion is that a few more seats for the Left could actually un-stick the gears of government. Gridlock is not a reason to buy a new car. 

If you ever believed in hope or change, your vote is just as important this year as in 2008 (perhaps more so, now that extra-constitutional super-majorities are necessary for any legislative action). 

If you honestly oppose the President's actual policies (as opposed to the fractious fictions that dance across Beck's bonehead blackboard or drip from Limbaugh's alarmist lips), start a third/fourth/fifth party, or at least find a Republican candidate who stands FOR something and will participate in the process.

If you believe that the status quo is just fine, or that John Boehner should be the (orange) face of the nation's future...well, you probably have not -- or could not -- read this far. 

At a time in our national and global history when answers, actions and leadership are needed more than ever, the PON preaches only obstinance and abstinence (coincidentally the same tenets of their birth control program). Before casting a vote in the mid-term election, ask yourself: would you hire a financial adviser who told you only where to NOT put your money? Root for a football team that fielded only a defense? Place a personal ad with the headline: "Not A Bed-Wetter!"?

Probably not....so do not elect a representative from a party that literally promises "nothing".

Grading On A Curve

For the love of logic -- will Lefty politicians, commentators and blogospheroids PLEASE stop citing the bar-graph representation of recent U.S. job losses as proof that Obama's stewardship has saved the economy! Such self-serving, specious statements serve only to demonstrate how shallow you are, how dim you believe the public is...or (more likely) both.

The graph (at right) demonstrates that as the Great Recession

rippled round the world, monthly job losses compounded, getting progressively worse each month towards the end of the Bush years, staying horrible as Obama took his oath, and gradually slowing down as far fewer expendable workers remained on the clock. It is the exact pattern of every other job slump. It is the exact pattern that was expected. It is the exact pattern that would have occurred regardless of governmental  action/inaction (though the numbers and dates certainly can be slightly shifted by policy decisions). It is not a sign of Democrat magic.

No economist or pundit believed that EVERY job in America was going to be lost. A nation can only hemorrhage 800,000 jobs a month for so long, just as a flame can only burn until it runs out of fuel.  To boast that you were on watch when the disaster bottomed out is like a rooster claiming credit for the sunrise, or an Exxon official waiting for the Valdez's last drop to wash ashore before claiming "There -- I fixed it!".

That 100,000 non-census jobs were created in March is an encouraging sign, and a number worthy of cautious optimism. Let us hope that the trend continues and that the White House will eventually have bountiful, genuine positive news about which to crow. In the meantime, please stop taking credit for the natural ebbing of the unsustainable worst; such emotional and numerical manipulation seems desperate, deceitful, and -- frankly -- Rovian.

A Sip For All Seasons

When the sun is out, all true Parisians grab a soleil-splashed table at the nearest cafe, absorbing  the scene, the warmth and the coffee.

When the rain falls, all true Parisians duck into the nearest cafe to grab a dry table, wait out the burst, chat up their own storm, and warm their bones with coffee.

Fortunately for them (and for the ever-burgeoning cafe business), as Winter turns to Spring in Paris, there appear to be only two forms of expression for a schizophrenic Mere de Nature -- downpours and sunshine. Maybe three: occasionally she provides both at the same time.

As the conditions change by-the-minute and I constantly, clumsily fumble to switch between an  umbrella and sunglasses (cursing Thomas Edison for not inventing shades with windshield wipers), the Parisians calmly sip their café, changing neither their demeanor nor expressions -- only their rationale for occupying the seat.

And who can blame them?

"Underwater" Overhyped?

The U.S. housing bubble finally burst - not with a whimper, but a bang.

Some thought it would never happen, others couldn’t believe it took so long, few foresaw that its “pop” would engulf the world. Ridiculous mortgages were sliced-and-diced into a weapon-grade virus that have poisoned the global economy, and something must be done to stem the infectious spread - but not at any cost, not with an eye towards saving everyone.

The Real Deal?

Change?
No more politics-as-usual?
A chief executive who can utter a coherent -- even lyrical -- sentence?

I want to believe.

Heretofore hailed by an insular crowd as a savior and Kennedy incarnate, Barack Obama now aspires to inspire the rest of America with his style, while instilling confidence in his questioned substance. It will be no easy task. Subtle position shifts and wardrobe additions have already demonstrated the tightrope that he is treading, and may threaten to chink his invaluably shining armor.

Is he the real deal, or a fraud? Pundits and the public alike wait to see whether the demands of the upcoming campaign will prove his mettle or corrupt his ideals.

For Her, The Belles Toll

The political symbolism was thick, if unheeded, at Saturday's 134th running of the Kentucky Derby.

Senator Hillary Clinton took a break from the campaign trail and slipped over the Indiana border, trading the Hoosier political war zone for a relaxing day at the races in the neighboring Bluegrass State. From a private box at Churchill Downs, she witnessed a valiant mare who gave her all against a crowded field of colts, but didn’t know when to quit and had to be destroyed in front of a horrified nation.

Can’t the woman take a hint?

Shame On Who?

With her campaign nearly as dead as the famous mountaineer for whom she falsely claimed being named, Hillary Clinton has found yet another voice -- and this time it's ugly and irrational.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, but her campaign's latest course threatens both party unity and the Clinton legacy, trespassing far beyond the pale of reasonable politics...or logic.

Over this past weekend Mrs. Clinton transformed from honored by Obama's run to outraged by it, from opposing “Rovian” tactics to employing them, from promising change to mocking it, and from bragging about her White House experience to dismissing it when convenient.

In short: from viable to vile.

Read on for details and reality checks on her ridiculous, illogical and hypocritical efforts to salvage the glass slipper that just doesn’t seem to fit.